BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
