just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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