Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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