Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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