ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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