Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
This is my gift to your gina
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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