Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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