I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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