I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
