My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
