wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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