I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
