Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
