I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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