maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
