apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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