is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
