And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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