are you still at the devil's house?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
