I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Everclear isn't food dammit
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
