in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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