i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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