Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
