worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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