This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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