What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
