so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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