It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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