Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's shark week go big or go home
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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