I only kidnapped one of them. chill
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
A+ Viking dick
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
