Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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