No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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