Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
