You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
