im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
