they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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