i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
