Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
