My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
