Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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