Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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