I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
