Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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