My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
4 words: hood of his car
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
