Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
