I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
