Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
