you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
