I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
