Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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